#one busy morning

and today it struck me
while i was ironing my saree
5 yards of brown sweaty embrodiery
its not easy to wash this every day
so we sun them awhile and fold them away

so this thought struck me from nowhere
about when i am going to die
its funny beacause iam not in a morbid mood
you see mornings are about hot sambhar and idlis
and coconut chutney

and all day iam busy
or trying to be
I haven't thought about death after i left my teens
my teens were spent on the hot terraces waiting for rain in the summer
and in spring you wouldn't even see me
cause i would be lying among the foliage watching wasps building paper nests.

but today it struck me. that i will be gone.
and everyone went about their chores
my aged in laws were praying,
the maid cutting onions
my nephew learning the mutiplication table
the cat snoring.and me ironing my sweaty saree.

and i had thought i was clever.
at least cleverer than my peers
because i aimed at dying happy not marrying rich
I thought i would do something that my cousin Anita
who lived in Chennai would fly down to cry at my funeral
and that my parents would be proud , a little sad but still proud.

and i thought i would write songs
true songs that had a thousand echoes in them
wondrous echoes that whispered about life
and about truth . echoes that entered peoples heads
echoes that never died.

but the best i can do is live peaceful,
hold my mother inlaws hand
when she climbs down the steep stairs to church,
buy my maid some fancy shirt with mirror work,
or make some tasty uppamava in the mornings,
water the orchids in the garden
and feed the fish.