#I want to be colorblind( published)

I want to be colorblind.
See everything in harmless black and white
For I wouldn’t stand and stare at the waking sky
I would rather make us some black coffee in the white of the kitchen tube.

Wait, then I’d throw away all the crayons I have collected as a child and use
Clean abrupt lucid Charcoal for everything .
Make modern art like a frozen question marks that you wouldn’t understand but
buy anyway and hang on your drawing room walls

I want to wear a big band aid on my soul
So then I wont be an open wound
To hemophiliacally bleed
To the bruises on some stranger’s knee

I want some pragmatic rubber soles
For my high heels
So that next time I waltz
I don’t spill my silly soul on your perfect white realistic floor.

I want to cut free every stretched violin string in me that
Resonates to your slightest touch, and sometimes even when you don’t bother to,
I want to plug up every tiny hole in that long bonus flute
Use it like a telescope instead, for filthy thoughts, never make music again

I want to be a she-Obelix, throw estrogenpowered menhirs, win battles for my Gaul
Or Asterix , only taller
I want to be carried on shields ,
make magic potions ,
Don’t mind being Cleopatra too (after painful tedious plastic surgery on my nose)

But
I am a court jester, Painted smile all over my frown
Another village bard who has to sing her songs aloud,
Without her harp,
Without battle weary heroes, without roasted boar, without the triumph

And I can sing even without the wine
For my Gaul is in Ruins
And I need only echo her wails.